There is something I need to tell you

I’m an adult now , but not like a real adult.

Everyone talks about the bills that comes with adulting but no one says anything about the hair loss that comes with it .

It’s been barely two weeks of being an adult and I want to run away. I became an adult on a toilet seat . When adulthood welcomed me with a runny stomach, I took it as a sign. It might be rough but best believe I’m ready to fight. ‘If you beat me , good for you but If I beat you , you will not live to remember this day', or how does the saying go? Well, this is my mood for adulthood- both of us gonna die on the line. Period.

My father is bald . I’ve never in my life seen his head full of hair. You know those men that won’t let a weekend pass without the hum of a clipper? Well, na my papa be that.

My mother married a bald man and now my hair starts in the middle of my head. (She claims he wasn’t bald when they were dating but that does nothing for me). These hairdressers still collect full money for hair that starts from the middle, can you believe that?

For the sake of my children I’ll marry a man with a full head of hair so that my babies' hair can start growing from the womb.  The front hair I’ve been trying to gather just disappeared just like that ? Adulthood thank you o.

Well, that’s just one. Let’s talk about the back ache that comes with aging. I understand my back hurts from carrying the weight of being the latest adult in the world (and most beautiful if I might add). It's a tough, thankless job, but somebody has to do it. The back ache is crazy. I now understand why our elders always say ‘thank you Jesus’ everytime they make a move. I'm not even being dramatic when I say my back hurts. maybe it’s cause I sit like this …

Also , deciding what to eat is another extreme sport. Not even because you have so many options to pick from but you need to eat healthy and still try to stay within your budget. I don’t understand why it is when I became I an adult that things decided to be expensive. I mean, apart from rice, spaghetti, yam and beans,  what is there to eat?  I’ve been switching from jollof rice to white rice to blue spaghetti . This isn’t what I signed up for.

And you mean I have to start buying clothes by myself? I can’t cry to my mommy or pass my exams for a new dress ? Are you saying that no uncle will give me 200N to buy  chewing gum anymore? Yeh! Adulthood ti gbe mi handicap.

I really miss those days of riding bicycle and licking sweet . My bones are now stiff and my back hurts .

Regardless of these small commas, there are good things that have been going on. My shoulder pads have doubled and I’ve become so confident in myself because God Dey my back (cue Omo Baba).

The holyspirit has been helping me heal too. I’ve never been happier ❤️. This has nothing to with age by the way. I am just glad I’m experiencing this in the early days of my adulthood.

Age is just a number anyway, but my spinal cord no wan hear that one.

Who knows , maybe if I ignore adulting all these will go away …

Till I catch you next time

Love you