The Stupidity 30+ Men Are Eating- Is It Eba or Fufu?

Turns Out He Was Just Greying and stupid

Jul 12, 2025

You know when you wake up in the middle of the night not for water, not to pee, not even to pray but just to clap? 😭clap your hands and shout, "GOD ABEG!!And put your hands on your head?

Yeah. That's where I am right now .

No light. Mosquito whining motivational quotes in my ear, and I just clapped once. Not because I killed anything, but because I remembered him again.

Banji.

Yes. The Benjamin you know. But we call him Banji now because why are we even protecting a man that was created specifically to stress daughters of God?

Anyway, let me start from the beginning before you miss your stop on this gist ride.

I’m currently serving my fatherland. NYSC babe. Khaki. Jungle boots. White shirt that has seen things. I’m doing my part.

Ouuuu😍😍😍🙈

But it was in the middle of this patriotic service that I got recruited into another form of service: emotional warfare.

I met Banji during one of those random Lagos weekends. In church 🌝The sun was hot. My spirit was soft. He was cute, tallish (not tall o, just… manageable), darkish 🥹and his first line to me was, “I had a dream about you. You were wearing white like an Angel”

You already know I should’ve entered bike and run fast and farrr because anybody that starts with spiritual wooing? Potential Danger ‼️ . But me? I smiled. Giggled. Even called him “Man of God” on his contact name.

From there? It was fire for fire.

Bible study. Voice notes. Late night calls.

He gifted me a pink journal to “document our journey.”

Me. Ada. A whole NYSC corper, writing “Day 1 of God-ordained love.”

I even told God thank you😂

I said, “Father, you’re not even waiting for NYSC to end before blessing me with husband?”

Omo.

It wasn’t husband o. It was hurricane in human form. Werey gidi 😭(thick and strong mad man)

Banji was fine sha. And that’s how they catch you. He had that type of smile that makes you ignore common sense. He would send me scriptures every morning.

“Isaiah 43:2 babe. No matter the fire, you won’t be burnt.”

Meanwhile, I was in the fire and he was the one holding the matchstick.

Soon, the red flags started tumbling in like NYSC parade.

But did I leave?

No now. I was too busy defending him like it was inter-platoon tug of war. I’m not even joking 😭

He started talking about his ex. A lot. Like, a lot.

Everytime , everydayyy .

Lulu, Kenny , Taiwo, Anita , Chelsea, Ifunaya 😂

One time he sent a picture and said “She had the cutest dimples. But I like yours better sha.”

Another time: “Her voice was soft but you’re more articulate.”

One morning, he sent me a random photo. I opened it thinking it was a meme.

It was HER.

No caption. Just her face and her dimples

I said, “Sorry, why are you sending me her picture?”

He said, “I’m just saying… you’re different. She was stubborn but sweet.”

Okay??

He was collecting women like Infinity Stones and comparing traits like he was doing Nigerian idol auditions.

Can you imagine ??? A grown man with beards o 😭

Still, I stayed. Like a Mumu . Because one of the worst things you can do to a Nigerian woman with feelings is give her the illusion of potential. I thought I was the final bus stop. The chosen one.

I didn’t know I was on transfer duty.

Then came “Rita Bible Study.”

He said they were just friends. Said they pray together.

But something in my chest was just saying check that phone o, Ada.

I checked.

First off, the name on Truecaller wasn’t just “Rita .” It was a government name.

Guess who?

His ex. Yes that Kennedy 😂😭

She was talking about her “white dress” . Maybe they were even planning their wedding sef 🥲

The same girl he had been crying about.

The one he said showed him Shege

And wants to fake trap him with a baby 🙃

So I’d basically been texting, calling, and comparing myself to a woman he renamed and repurposed like leftover jollof.

He was cheating on me with rebranded sorrow.

💔💔

And I didn’t even know yet that the madness hadn’t peaked😭😭😭

Banji took my phone one night like the Spirit led him.

Checked messages, scrolled through chats.

Saw nothing.

And somehow, got angry.

Yes. You read that right.

He found nothing 😍no cheating, no flirting, not even one "wyd" at 11pm and still said:

"So you're not talking to anybody? Why are you so clean? It's suspicious."

Banji was mad.

Legitimately mad.

How do you cheat and then be upset that I don't cheat too ?

He said, “Maybe you’re deleting chats.”

LORD. I was losing my mind in High Definition.

And just when I thought I’d seen it all, this boy said, “Ada, I will marry you.”

Marry who?

The way he said it? It was not romantic.

It was not loving.

It was threatening.

As in, “Don’t misbehave o. I’m going to marry you.”

My sister, that’s when my spirit said RUN.

It was after that that he ghosted me for three days. When he came back, he said he needed to “clear his head.”

Clear your head with who?

Hookup babes.

Yes. Banji sleeps with hook-up girls.

And how do I know? Because he told me. Proudly. Like someone confessing gym attendance.

“I don’t even enjoy it like that. I just do it to pass time. You know those girls are not my spec “

Imagine being a side hustle to somebody’s lack of discipline ??!

Shame wear me mosquito net 😭😔

Omo. I cried. But only once. Because when I wiped my tears I saw my NYSC allowee has dropped I quickly ordered shawarma 😍

And do you know what saved me? Shame . I can’t walk on the road with such person 🙏🏼

Cause how can someone finish morning devotion with you at 6AM and be in a hotel room with a hookup babe by 2PM.

Best in duality.

😂😂😂

He was literally living in a constant episode of Mount Zion Meets PornHub.

And somehow, in the middle of all this madness, this man was still quoting Bible verses to me.

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing."

Yes sir, but the good thing is not sleeping with strangers for "vibes."

But now? I’m free.

No Banji. Or Benji 😂

No stress.

No unexpected pregnancy

My period flows in peace.

My data is mine again.

My khaki still buttons.

And I’m in love now. Real love.

No more “God said you’re my wife” type of love.

This one is peaceful, real, and hookup-babe-free.

But let me be honest . This Banji taught me something.

He taught me that not every spiritual man is spirit-filled.

Some are just high.

And I’m also grateful. Because if not for that nonsense, what would I be writing about today? I’ll probably be waiting for the man to call me back while he is busy begging Kennedy to let him put just the ‘tip’