Talking in my sleep 💜
Don’t get me wrong🥹
It's a gloomy Wednesday evening, and the rain is pouring heavily outside. Despite that, the room feels unusually hot😣It's been a while since I last wore a sweater, but I think it's time to put one on. As I make my way, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and decide to reapply my lip gloss😊To my surprise, I notice an outbreak of acne on my left cheek and a few pimples and dark spots on the right. This is new to me, and I can't help but feel confused. I'm trying to understand my skin type and figure out which foods to avoid, yet here I am, munching on groundnuts😭😭😭I grab my mirror, hoping to still find that cuteness I'm searching for, but it eludes me. Frustrated, I lie down and wonder where things went wrong🥹
Am I on the verge of tears? How did I only score 18 out of 30 on my test? I stayed up studying! And why am I not getting any taller? I've been praying for a few extra inches. And now, look at my belly🥲It seems like I'm gaining weight in all the wrong places. And to top it off, I seem to be getting slower because where on earth did I just drop my phone?! I hope all these pains and worries disappear soon. 💔
As tears well up in my eyes, a wave of sadness washes over me. The longing to be home is so strong, it's hard to hold back the emotions. It's Thursday morning, but the atmosphere feels like a heavy cloud of impending Friday. The air carries the scent of rain dust, creating an ambience of melancholy. The weather seems undecided, torn between a desire for cold and a punishment of heat. I offer a prayer and reluctantly rise to brush my teeth, my hunger gnawing at me.
As I gaze into the mirror, I'm confronted with the harsh reality of doubled pimples. A deep sigh escapes my lips, and I resign myself to the fact. But then, a thought strikes me. Why should I let the mirror's judgment define me? After all, it's just a reflection, devoid of any real power. I decide to take control and embrace my inner child. In this moment, I am five years old, and it brings a genuine giggle to my lips. I notice the beauty in my plump, pink lips and my flawless smile. This face, with all its imperfections, is undeniably gorgeous. With a newfound confidence, I grab my camera and start capturing the essence of this moment. Because maybe, just maybe, amidst the challenges and uncertainties, there's a glimmer of hope🙏🏼🌸
I mean look at this face 🙈🙈
I didn't even mention that I straightened my wig because the all back hair do underneath was making my forehead look bigger😏But who cares, right? This big head of mine is like a storage unit for all kinds of random information. Like, did you know yesterday was Obafemi Awolowo's birthday and he was born in Ikenna ,Ogun state ? I have no clue why I know this stuff, but let's move on.
It's funny how I went through a whirlwind of emotions in less than an hour. I didn't mention it earlier, but I felt so much better after straightening my wig, watching Penthouse, and sipping on that apple-flavored Sosa. Although, now those pesky pimples on my face are acting up and causing a bit of discomfort. But those little bumps don't define anything, right? 🤷🏽♀️😭
By the way, today I'm starting a new series about womanhood and falling in love with these amazing women. Maybe if I love them a little too much, I'll end up giving myself a piece of that love too. But until then, I'll yearn for those days when I feel the most loved. Those days when I'm completely head over heels for myself and can't think of a single thing that could be wrong with me. I long for those days when I don't doubt myself and truly believe that I can achieve anything I want. I always strive to exist in a state of tranquility and feel like I truly matter in this world, not just to others, but most importantly, to myself.
I want love myself without any limits. I wanna love myself so much that what others think doesn't even matter 'cause I know I'm deserving and loved. Today's a great day😁Let's jam to "Olugbeja" by Veekee James. 'Cause I've got one semester left and I'm still stuck on chapter one of my final year project 😭 I need God to fight this battle for me. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 Olugbeja o! 😭
See you 😘😘😘