Sunsets and Serendipity
It's 3:30 am, and it's dark as usual. I got up to pee and am struggling to go back to bed. I'm just a girl somewhere in Lagos state watching "Breath of Life" and scrolling through the pages of "Ogadinma," and I wonder why my heart won't stop racing as I check today's date. It's the 30th of December, which means one more day... one more day for the year to officially come to an end... one more day for... just one more day. From this description, you can tell my mind has a world of its own while I just exist to write its story.
This day last year, I was up early excited for our ice cream date 🥰 but today, I'm hoping everything goes back to how we were two years ago ❤️
It's 4 am, and I am still up wondering why I am still up. I said a little prayer and tried to go back to sleep, but I an unable to 🥲 So here I am, writing to you because you are always on my mind ❤️ I reminisce about all the books I have read this year and think about Vivek, 'The Death of Vivek Orji' was an incredible and insane book," she thought. All Vivek wanted to do was live... but he died just like that. Unlike "Breathe of Life," Mr. Timi just wanted to die, but he couldn't... such an irony... but he walked up to death he gave his life to someone, so maybe he still exists in him. "The market burned down the day Vivek Orji died" - that was the only sentence in Chapter One, and you won't expect the chaos at the end of that book.
I'm not recommending "The Death of Vivek Orji." I read it twice already, and I think you should read it by choice. Nothing will prepare you for the chaos. And if you've read it, I'm sending you hugs because only we know what we're going through. I'm currently reading "Ogadinma"; I have no words yet, and I'm still on page 33.
It's 5 am now, and I am wondering if he'll text me back and tell me he loves me. I am wondering if he'll say the words he said to me when we first met and act like he means them. I am also wondering how my life would be if we didn't meet. What would I be thinking about at this moment if I didn't meet him? You know, sometimes you meet people, and you wonder where they've been all your life... just like Osita to Vivek, like Elijah to Mr. Timi, like the tortoise and the hare, like her to him, like me to you. You begin to live because of them, and if they do not exist anymore, then you have no reason to live...
This year, I went through a series of emotions I have no words for. I am just a girl, why am I going through this much...? You know when Elijah had to fry eggs 16 times in 3 hours just to satisfy Mr. Timi? Mr. Timi kept spitting it out and breaking plates, but never told Elijah to try again; he just sat there and did his thing. If I were Elijah, the 5th time I'd have carried my bag and said, "I quit," but he continued, only for Mr. Timi to say Anna makes better eggs after eating Elijah's eggs every day for a year. I'm just so intrigued by how determined people are. You know the story of the tortoise and the birds? They had a party in the sky, and the birds glued their feathers to the tortoise just so he could fly and have fun with them in the sky. That's so beautiful to think about, even though the tortoise still did his thing, lol. I have no clue what I'm writing about or where this is going. I'm just thinking about "thoughts"; you know if you think you can do something, you can actually do it, and that's so crazy.
I am genuinely anxious about this coming year. I have so many expectations, and all I'm worried about right now is if he'll text her back and say, "We can do it together" - that was the plan. That's what they've been doing. I understand it can get annoying sometimes when you do your best for someone, but all they see is what you are not doing... and that hurts. But she wants you to know that she loves you so much and you are doing just right. She wishes you could see her heart amid her stubbornness and her attitude. But if you still want to leave, it's cool. It has happened before anyway, and you were happy. I hope Vivek's mom finds peace, and I hope Osita is okay too...
I just hope everyone is okay. My heart is full of a lot of things. Thinking about these characters makes me feel a bit sane.
It's 6 am, and I'm thinking about how Ogadinma feels... I hope she's okay 😔 And all in all, I hope you get the message too ❤️
I know this isn’t enough motivation to kickstart a new year. But I want you to know that I'm here, cheering you on with all my heart ❤️ I believe in you
By the way, I've been listening to "Time Heals" by Dotti The Diety too, and it's like everything just falls into place when I hear it. It's such a great feeling❤️The lyrics, and the music, all make sense and bring a sense of clarity. 😘
Looking forward to catching up with you in the new year💕Take care and have a fantastic time until then❤️
Happy New Year 🎊