Quarter life crisis

Right out of my chest🤦🏾‍♀️

We are 49 minutes into Monday, and the stress of this moment rests heavily on my shoulders🥹. It marks the beginning of my final semester of school, a journey filled with highs and lows, laughter and tears and more tears and tears again 🥹🙂.As I sit here, my head pounding from a dull soreness, all I want to do is dance. I want to immerse myself in the music, to dance like Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses, but instead I feel stalled, like a plastic bag drifting in the wind, wandering and purposeless🙂💔

Entering my twenties should be a watershed moment in my life, bringing me one step closer to discovering who I am and what I'm here for🙋🏾‍♀️. Yet, here I am, confused, perplexed, unable to identify my talent or interest. I lost interest in the course of study in my second year, and now that I'm approaching my graduation, I'm worried. My level advisor's statements linger in my mind: "I haven't seen anything yet." What does this mean? Can things go much worse from here?🥹🥹🥹

I find myself thinking about the past, wishing I had paid more attention in music class in secondary school🥲.Maybe then I'd be able to play the piano as well as read tonic solfa without difficulty. Instead, I can barely play "Mary Had a Little Lamb" on my violin, which I learned through sheer commitment🥲.The regret is tirelessly on my heart, knowing that I could have done better if only I had tried harder😇🥱.

Every morning I wake up, pray, check my email, and sigh. Is this how adulthood is supposed to feel? A constant battle between yearning for the carefree days of childhood and facing the harsh realities of the present? 💔How did I go from writing lyrics for my favorite songs from High School Musical to being in my twenties, unsure and afraid?🥹

The fear creeps in, gripping me tightly. I am afraid of making mistakes, saying the wrong things, or worse, not saying anything at all🙃.I am afraid that not making my bed in the morning will set the tone for a bad day, or that my procrastination will result in mediocre work and, ultimately, failure. I am afraid I will never figure it out or find my place in the world🫠.

There is a constant sense of pressure, as if everyone else has it all figured out, while I can not decide what to eat 🥹. "What are your plans after graduation?" they ask. I smile and nod, screaming inside, "I do not know!" It feels like a competition, a race that I'm already losing🙃

I think I am going through a quarter-life crisis, torn between what I should do and what is expected of me. The expectations of society place a heavy burden on my shoulders while providing little in return😒🥹. Despite all of this uncertainty and fear, I will choose to believe in myself. I will believe that I will figure it out, that I will find my way, even if the path is not clear at the time❤️

If you are on this boat with me, lost and afraid, I hope you can take comfort in knowing you are not alone🙏🏼 We do not always have to feel like we are falling behind, because everyone has their own path and journey. There is no one right way to live your life. So, let us get rid of the pressure and expectations and focus on what really makes us happy👌🏾

Hang in there, my love We will figure this out together.💜