I let my grades define my worth

I’m too competitive for someone that ends doing rubbish

To be honest, there’s something so surreal about going to bed without that familiar pit of academic stress gnawing at my stomach.😂😭it’s like a wave of relief, but also a little unsettling—like, “is this what freedom feels like?” I’ve been chained to the rhythm of deadlines, assignments, and exams for so long that I don’t quite know how to function without them🥹. But now, the shackles are off, and I’m trying to find my footing. What is  even weirder is knowing there’s no next semester to look forward to—or dread, depending on how you see it🙃

If you’re wondering what I’m up to now, well, picture me with the biggest grin on my face, savoring the sweetest jelly bean ever🥹I swear, this thing tastes like snowflakes—if snowflakes could taste like magic🥰It’s the little joys, you know? But honestly, for someone as quiet as me, moments like this are rare😏The only times you’ll catch me actively moving my lips is either when I’m eating (like now) or when I’m lost in the world of some book, unconsciously acting like the main character. Yes, I’ve got main-character energy, even if it’s just in my head🤷🏽‍♀️

But speaking of books… I’m done with the book, the academic one. At least for now🙂.And if I’m being completely raw here, for someone who’s spent her entire life chasing academic validation like a moth to a flame, it feels like a bittersweet ending💔😊You see, I’ve spent years tying my worth to my grades, letting the numbers and letters on a report card determine how I felt about myself. But now that the grades are in, and my story didn’t quite end the way I’d hoped… well, let’s just say, it’s complicated🫠.

When I got my first 4.98 GPA, you’d think I’d be over the moon, right? And I was—for like five seconds. But then the ache set in. Where did that last 0.02 go? Why wasn’t I perfect? It’s funny how we condition ourselves to believe that anything less than perfect is 😣. I had already dreamed up the perfect graduation caption: “First class in the bag, make her mommy too dey brag.”It was supposed to be my shining moment. But life, in its usual way, didn’t stick to my script💔

There’s this funny thing about me. I once tried to learn tennis—gave it all of one hour before I gave up🥲I couldn’t get it right immediately, so I figured, “Well, this isn’t for me.” That’s how I’ve treated a lot of things in my life. If I don’t get it right off the bat, I lose interest. But school? Oh, school was different. It was a love-hate relationship, the one thing I kept coming back to even when it knocked me down🥹.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to drop out at some point. I did. There was this one semester, and everything felt like it was crumbling around me. I messed up—big time. My grades dipped, my confidence shattered, and I found myself questioning if I even deserved to be here🥹But I didn’t quit. I kept pushing, even when it hurt. And it did hurt—deeply. I haven’t cried about it yet, which is probably why it all still feels so unreal. Maybe when I finally shed those tears, it’ll feel real—like closure🫠

Do you know the worst part? I have all these brilliant answers bouncing around in my head😂and they’re completely useless now. The exam is over, and the lecturers didn’t even ask the right questions. I swear, they had one job😭😂 It’s like having the best comebacks but the argument’s long over. It’s frustrating, but what can you do? What can I do ?I guess that’s life in a nutshell, right? You don’t always get the chance to show your best, but you keep going anyway😞

But here’s where it gets tough. I feel like I’ve let a lot of people down—my friends, my family, but mostly, myself. I had high expectations, and when I didn’t meet them, it felt like the ground was falling beneath me. If I could go back in time, I’d fix it. I’d work harder, stress less, maybe even allow myself to enjoy the ride more😞. But the thing about time is—it doesn’t go backward. So, instead, I’m looking forward, hoping to fix what I can in the future🤥🫠

And you know what? Despite everything, I’m proud of myself. I’m a graduate of Mass Communication now. I survived it. And that alone is worth something, isn’t it? Maybe I didn’t end with the fairytale GPA or the perfect graduation post, but I’m walking away with something better—perspective. I’ve learned that my worth isn’t in a number. It’s in my resilience, my ability to push through even when things didn’t go my way, my capacity to keep going even when I felt like giving up❤️

So here I am, signing off on this chapter of my life. My academic journey might be over, but the real adventure is just beginning. I have no idea what the next page will hold, but I’m ready to turn it and find out.

Thank you for reading this far. And if you’re still in school? Keep going. Study hard, but don’t let your grades define you the way I let mine define me for so long. You are more than that. Trust me. ❤️