Forget your sadness in my arms

Don’t worry, you’re safe

At 4am,

The world is in this mesmerizing state, where it's neither fully morning nor night, but somewhere in between💜Some say it's the start of a new day, while others argue it's still the depths of night. It's a moment when heavy-eyed souls struggle to rise, while others surrender to the embrace of slumber. It's a lonely night for those yearning for sleep and a tiring morning for those trying to wake up.  In this delicate balance, at the thin line between morning and night, Labake is writing to you, sharing a heartfelt message. as the soothing melody of 'Time Heals' by DOTTi The Deity fills the air🩷

It's 4am and I'm sitting in a corner of my room, feeling this overwhelming silence. It's like the silence itself is shouting, filling the room like a dense fog. And you know what? It reminds me of how lonely I am, just like when DOTTi the Deity says, "this is a heartbreak song, but I sing it while I dance." It doesn’t relate but I feel something.

Right now, at 4am, my mind is heavy with thoughts, but my words seem to fall short. How do I explain that I've been stuck in the past, overthinking the present, and worrying about the future? Graduation is creeping closer, and I have no clue where to go from there...

But you know what's even harder? Putting into words the shame I feel for feeling all these things. It's like I'm not giving myself the chance to simply exist or find reasons to be happy about being alive. It's a struggle.

So, later in the day, I went over to my friend's room and we started cracking jokes and having a good laugh. I joined in on the laughter, not because their jokes were side-splittingly funny, but because I wanted to soak up their zest for life. I hoped that by laughing alongside them, even a little bit, I could somehow feel more alive.

But you know what happened? The moment I walked out of that room and we said our goodbyes, this heavy cloud of indifference descended upon me once again. It was like their enthusiasm didn't quite rub off on me, and I really hoped that they were spared from feeling the same indifference. I genuinely wished that when they got back to their rooms, they didn't experience that same feeling.

It's 5 pm now, and I find myself engulfed in a sea of indifference. As I gaze into the mirror, I feel a profound emptiness within me. It's as if I am staring at a mere reflection, a mere shadow of who I once was. Yet, I continue to fix my gaze upon this image, searching for something, anything, to ignite a spark within my soul.

In that reflection, I see a person who understands, who knows the truth. She knows that I have become lost in the act of dissecting my own existence, rather than embracing the beauty that surrounds me. I long to reach out to her, to hold her close, and assure her that there is hope for a brighter tomorrow. But deep down, I fear that such reassurance may be nothing more than a fleeting dream.

So, I continue to stare, transfixed by the image before me, until I can no longer bear the weight of this emptiness. The journey to rediscover the joy within my own reflection may be arduous, but I remain hopeful that one day, I will once again find solace and radiance in the person I see in the mirror.

I've been searching for ways to beat loneliness to be honest. Just a few days ago, I was binge-watching "Someone Great." It's such an amazing movie, and I've seen it so many times before. This time, I played it to drown out the silence and let myself have a good cry. The story really hit me, you know? He left her after nine years, without even giving it a try or a second thought.For those few minutes, I felt this intense thirst for life and a deep appreciation for it. But then, just like that, the fog of loneliness came back. Maybe it's because I could finally feel something again. It's tough ,you know.

It’s 6pm and the  sky turns all these beautiful red colors, and you know it's time for the sunset. The sun starts going down, and its golden rays shine through my windows, making my room all warm and orange. It's like this magical moment that fills me with so much energy and excitement. It's like life itself is flowing through me, you know?

And in that peaceful atmosphere, I start thinking about something deep. Even though the world can be crazy sometimes, there's still so much beauty around us. It's like a reminder that God created this amazing world for us to enjoy. When I think about how God made everything, including the sun and me, it makes me feel special. Like, He thought the world wouldn't be complete without me. It's such a powerful feeling of awe, thankfulness, and knowing my life has a purpose even if I don’t know what it is yet 🦋❤️

Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet become something beautiful🦋💕