For what it’s worth A Reason to Why: Episode One ❤️

Cheese is just spoiled milk. Someone looked at milk that had gone bad—curdled, smelly, probably gross—and thought, “You know what? Let’s not give up on this just yet. Let’s see what happens.” And then, somehow, we got cheese🤷🏽‍♀️😁Glorious, beloved, everyone’s-favorite-snack cheese 🧀 .

That’s kind of how I feel about this year. It was, without question, spoiled milk. The kind you accidentally sniff and instantly regret🥹. It was rotten and weird and uncomfortable, but I’m sitting here hoping that something good comes from it🙂Maybe I’ll end up like cheese. Or wine. You know, grapes that had a breakdown but made it classy🥰 purr

Let’s start with the “headline” this year felt like I was awake during surgery. And not the kind of surgery where they hand you a teddy bear and you’re asleep the whole time. No, no. I’m talking fully awake, wide-eyed, staring at the ceiling while the doctor says, “You might feel a little pressure,” and then—GBAM! it feels like they’re pulling your soul out through your ears 😕😔That’s how I spent most of my year. Crying? Constantly. Flailing? Daily. Overthinking? I deserve an award 🥇 President general among the nations 🙇🏽‍♀️

Anyway there  was one particularly spicy chapter where I almost dated a psychopath(for the plot please) . And look, I’m not throwing that “ psychopath” word around casually😑. This person was a walking red flag parade🚩🚩🚩. Every interaction felt like I was holding up a magnifying glass to my self-respect and saying, “Why are we doing this?” But did I listen? 😕Barely. I mean, when someone says “I’m not like other people” and gives you a smile that belongs in a psychological thriller, 🥺maybe it’s time to run. I didn’t run😂. I power-walked—eventually😭. Anyway, I’ll tell you that story in full when my sense of humor fully recovers. For now, I’m filing it under “character development🙏🏼.

Oh, and let’s talk about my body this year. My weight? Up, down, up again. It was like my metabolism was playing hopscotch while my jeans watched from the sidelines, judging me. I’ve spent more time arguing with my mom’s scale than I have talking to some of my closest friends🙃. One day I’d feel great and think, “Look at me! I’m glowing! I’m unstoppable!” 😍And the next day I’d accidentally catch my reflection in a window and think, “Is that…is that me? 🥹Why do I look like a sad marshmallow?” 😕I became my own science experiment, a mix of gym attempts, midnight snacks, and existential dread💔🙏🏼

But somehow, between all of that—through the crying, the almost-dating disaster🥹, the battle with my mirror and mom’s scale —I survived. I’m still here. ❤️I’m sitting in my messy little life, looking at the spilled milk of this year and thinking, Maybe this isn’t the end. Maybe this year is curdling into something worthwhile🥴.

And look, I get it—being hopeful after a year like this feels ridiculous. It’s like breaking your arm and saying, “Well, at least I get a cool cast.” 🤷🏽‍♀️But sometimes ridiculous hope is all we’ve got. If spoiled milk can become cheese , and grapes can turn into wine , then maybe, just maybe, this dumpster fire of a year is quietly transforming me into something better🙏🏼🥺❤️. Something richer. Something that people want to put on their metaphorical charcuterie boards🙈😍❤️

They say everything happens for a reason, but let’s be real—sometimes the reason is just that life decided to throw rocks at you for sport. And that’s fine. I took the hits. I flinched, I cried, I spent a concerning amount of time under blankets watching TV. But I’m still standing. Maybe wobbling, but standing❤️

So here’s to this year: the surgery I didn’t sign up for, the spoiled milk I didn’t ask for, the ridiculous mess I lived through. And here’s to next year—may it be the wine I deserve after all this. Or at least a decent glass of sparkling cider. I’ll take what I can get🙂💅

In the meantime, if life keeps spoiling my milk(my steeze) I’ll just keep making cheese ❤️ you feel me ?

And yes big shout out to you 🥺 all of you for riding with me . Whether you laughed with me or at me (I’m sure that one is laughing 😒) cried with me, or just rolled your eyes and kept reading-thank you for being part of this❤️🙏🏼I hope next year gives us all something good, something soft, and something worth holding onto❤️.

Until then, let’s raise a glass to the mess we survived and the people we became because of it❤️And let's step into next year with ridiculous hope in our pockets because, honestly, it's the best thing we have. Ridiculous hope , ridiculous faith ❤️

So you can write back to me, okay? Tell me how you're doing. Tell me your stories. Tell me what you're hoping for next year.

I'd love to hear from you, because you've heard so much from me.

Thank you for growing with me. I'll see you next year.

With all my love and gratitude,

💜💜💜

Until Episode Two🙇🏽‍♀️