Can we have one more?

If we could add ‘one mores’ maybe it’ll equal to a lifetime💜

Today, I made the bittersweet decision to bid farewell to my beloved teddy bear. Bubba, as I affectionately called her, had been my trusted companion for a whole year. She was more than just a teddy to me. I poured my heart out to her, seeking solace in her soft embrace. We laughed, we cried, we played together, creating countless memories. But as time went on, something shifted. Bubba's presence on my bed no longer brought me the comfort it once did. Instead, it started to grate on my nerves, like an unwelcome intruder in my sanctuary😒So, with a mix of nostalgia and newfound clarity, I made the brave choice to put Bubba away🙏🏼

And let me tell you, the transformation was nothing short of magical. As I removed Bubba from my bed, a sense of tranquility washed over me. It was as if the world around me had shed its dull, monochromatic hues and burst into a vibrant symphony of colors. Suddenly, everything fell into place, and the pieces of the puzzle that had eluded me before finally clicked into perfect alignment.

In bidding farewell to Bubba, I not only let go of a physical object but also released the emotional baggage that had been weighing me down. It was a symbolic act of embracing change and allowing myself to grow. Now, as I look around, I see a world that is brimming with possibilities, beckoning me to explore, discover, and find new sources of comfort and joy💜

I went through the painful experience of losing a dear friend. We used to talk every single day for about three years, but recently, he made the decision to step away from our “friendship” . Normally, I would be devastated and do everything in my power to mend things, but this time, something unexpected happened. Instead of tears and desperation, I found myself feeling an inexplicable sense of happiness. It was as if a burst of vibrant colors flooded back into my life. The way I felt when I put Bubba away 😊

In that moment, I had a profound realization. I had tied my own happiness to someone who was still struggling to find their own path. It reminded me of Jenny's journey in the movie "Someone Great." There was no dramatic plot twist where he suddenly reached out to fix things. Instead, she accepted her reality and embraced the idea of a new chapter in her life, even if it meant navigating the world without that person by her side💜

And you know what? I am genuinely happy. It may not be an easy road ahead, but I am excited about the possibilities that lie before me. I have come to understand that my happiness should not depend on someone else's presence in my life. I am ready to embark on this new phase, ready to explore the world and discover the joy that comes from within💜

Sometimes, losing someone we care about can be a catalyst for personal growth and self-discovery. It's about accepting our reality, finding strength in ourselves, and embracing the beauty of a life filled with endless opportunities. So let’s go 💜 insert “twe twe “ by kizz Daniel .

But here's the thing, when it comes to this happiness, there's this little voice of fear that sneaks in🥹 It's like, I'm afraid of opening up to someone new and then they just walk right out of my life. I'm scared of healing and unintentionally pushing everyone away…And you know what else? I'm even afraid of putting in the effort and trying, not knowing if it'll all work out in the end🙂just like this one

And let me tell you , it gets even more complicated. I find myself doubting if this happiness is even real. Like, am I just fooling myself into feeling happy? It's like I'm playing mind games with my own emotions. But honestly, deep down, I don't think that's the case. I genuinely feel at peace with where I am in life right now. But  if I'm convincing myself into this emotion, then maybe it's as real as it gets🤷🏽‍♀️

So yeah, it's a rollercoaster of emotions, but that's what makes life interesting, right? *deep sigh

You know, sometimes I'm amazed by how much space my heart can hold for those little moments, whether they're incredibly beautiful or heart-wrenching. It's like a reflex, a ritual, to make room for them. I can still recall the first glimpse I had of you, the initial thought that crossed my mind. I remember the last warm hug, the last time this friend cooked for me, the last time someone gave me a flower or looked deeply into my eyes. I even remember the last gentle touch of my mother's hand and the last time my brother lovingly peeled an orange for me. I remember it all, perhaps even too much😏

It's both a blessing and a curse, you know? On one hand, it's a gift to hold onto these memories so vividly. But on the other hand, it can be bittersweet because you long for those moments to return, yet it feels like a piece of them has been tucked away in your heart, hidden and elusive. It's a sorrowful aspect of being human, isn't it? In the blink of an eye, your favorite moment becomes a part of the past💔

In the midst of everything, I make a conscious choice to hold onto the positive and keep seeing the light. There are other things that bring me gratitude and concern right now. Interestingly, someone has presented me with a unique challenge, which I hesitate to call unrealistic because they genuinely believe in my abilities. I'll let you in on the details when I begin🙈😂

Right now, I'm genuinely buzzing with excitement. This feeling is unlike anything I've experienced before because it's not dependent on anyone else—it's coming from deep within. I'm so filled with happiness and anticipation that it could bring tears to my eyes. You know what? My 2024 is all about prioritizing my own safety and well-being. It's about taking a step back and refusing to settle for connections that don't fully appreciate me. I won't be babysitting anyone's insecurities anymore! Say “gbam” I deserve someone who sees and values everything I bring to the table. But most importantly, my 2024 is about being grateful for the people who make space for me in their lives😊the ones who bring out the best in me. And if there's nobody around, I'll make space for myself. This is my chance to give myself the love and happiness I deserve in 2024 and  so on 💜

Enough of me 😂😭we're already on the 7th day of the year as I'm writing this. Time flies, right? I hope these first few days have been treating you well. Got any exciting plans? 💜Well, guess what? I'm determined to bring you along on my journey this year. Consider yourself a VIP guest😊big Purrrr😂 So don't hesitate to reach out and share your thoughts with me. I'm here to listen and support you every step of the way. Happy New Year to you and everyone out there reading this 😊Let's make it a year filled with love, positivity, and unforgettable moments. 💜🩷 By the way, I'm currently vibing to "Flowers" by Miley Cyrus and "Gratitude" by AnEndlessOcean. I'm all about music these days, so feel free to share your playlists with me💜

Catch you later 🍿